Most of the time I loaf around with this empty sinking feeling, like I really should be doing something with my time, I find it so hard to find the motivation to study. Often there is this tendency to wander around aimlessly. I should probably start looking for a hobbit with a gold ring.
While I have many friends I deal with on a daily basis, and it sometimes makes me feel better to know that we get along, I have no strong friends and have never had a serious girlfriend, maybe one exception. I often spend weekends alone because things just never seem to work out. I joined clubs and such but I always feel like an accessory, most people seem to have their own thing going and I feel unwanted.
I have been trying and failing to meet someone for ages, its driving me insane.
I am always single not because I am not good looking enough to meet someone, but for whatever reason I am not the guy girls want to go out with, always a friend or an acquaintance. Nothing ever seems to click, and I see so many people getting in and out of terrible relationships… it just makes me sick to think about how women will date such predictably terrible men, but not me, and I must somehow be worse – how else could this always happen? I spent a few months with this one girl whom I thought liked me and it was the best I have felt in years but she could never tell me she like me. It was crushing. I hoped it would get better, but as I said, nothing has ever worked out.
theres a good chance I am fooling myself, but I really think that if I felt socially accepted, like if anyone cared I would feel better. I have a nice family that all live far away. I can talk to them but there isn’t much they can do; I often feel like they are humoring me.
I’m in college, in a hard program… and have a great job for the summer.. but it gives me no satisfaction. I feel like a fraud. I have also come to terms with how socially irresponsible my profession to typically is, which doesn’t help.
I feel you man – I had this a few years back.
My tips for you to get out of there, is to start something. You seem like you’re waiting to do something, or waiting for something to happen to you. Something waiting seems like a great idea, and it use to – but there comes a time where you(yourself) need to to start something and make something happen.
You’re currently waiting for an invitation of some sort to something that your friends are doing, but I think your friends don’t know the capability of how fun it is to have you around, and you have to show this to them.
The way I remember of getting out of this situation is by creating an event, and invited my three closest friends. I think it was to go to this insane amusement park, and I told them to invite their other friends too, and so they did – and I ended up going to an amusement park with 15 other people or so (make sure there are girls too! they make it loads more fun, like your friends girlfriend’s friends and stuff). Everytime I went on a rollercoaster, I sat with someone I didn’t really know and got to know them. But it should be something you all want to do, and make sure you GO somewhere, and not just be a bum at home staring at your phone. You should plan, and figure out stuff you know? And do things you have really wanted to do! A couple other suggestions that I have tried are: paintballing, rec center, go-karting, going to the dunes and go biking, shooting, mtn biking, other amusement parks(always the best choice)
I suggest you do the same, and strengthen your relationship with your friends. But when you do these, remember to have your friends bring their girlfriends, and have their girlfriends to bring their female friends, so that some day, you might just get to know one good enough to get in a relationship, and if not, just keep stretching the number of your friends like this, and reinforce how tight you are with your friends.
hope this helps man. but you gotta get out dude, make something happen. In time, you will be one helluva party animal. sooner of later you won’t have to do this as much because people will want you to come to their events because you’re great to have around.
tip: don’t call on the day of when you want something to happen, but call your friends 1-2 weeks in advance so theirs time to figure out a schedule, and for your friends to invite other people.